HAPPY NEW ME!

(It's a late post but it's still a progress ..)

Hello and good day peeps.

I'm so excited like I'm so ready for new year, the beginning of my blank pages for 2020. There's a long listed things I'm so looking forward to achieve and in between I really hope and pray that I will always stay strong and don't give in easily. Since I was a kid, it kinda turns into a habit whenever the new year's coming in, I will grab my colorful pens and started to write down my goals for that particular year whether it's a general or specific one. However, I don't be hard on myself because we planned but sometimes God has something else for us in store. I will always try my best but if I can't cross off one from list, it's acceptable but only after sobbing my heart out. You make list in order for it to be achieved. So when it doesn't work out on that year, we can always bring it forward to the next year. You should never put it to stop unless you believe it's really is not yours and you've sacrifice a lot to get to where you are now. So, in short I'm currently in that situation where I have a list of goals that almost similar to last year. *freak out* 

The thing is 2019 was a really challenging year, it drained me mentally and physically. I was gaining more weight, I was degrading myself a lot and it really annoying that I prefer to sleep like there's no tomorrow instead of waking up and living my days to the fullest. I made mistakes. A really horrible one. And because of that event, it marked the turning point of my (our) lives. We both changed, into someone we're not comfortable in. Along the way, we tried to adjust and learn to communicate better. We fought a lot, even to the point of giving up with each other. But as bad as it was, we always find our back together. My final year project before graduating was also giving me the pain in the ass. I didn't cry much but it's really a tough journey. The lab works were easy whereas the people  inside the lab were not. It's not really a lose for me but I did lose a good friend of mine because of lab LOL. I was not responsible for his indecent behavior tho ==' when you're into something, you should do it attentively especially when it involves group work. 

The greater the storm, the brighter the rainbow will show after it. It's totally a lie if I say that my life was always down in the dumps. I did feel at ease and my heart was content at times as I met new people, invest in new hobby, working on a new job, going places I'm not familiar with and revisit the places of memory. I'm so pleased as punch as I'm making a trip down the memory lane. I had a pretty good memories too actually that will always be cherished forever. You’ve done great Raihana! 

I'm going to promise to myself that for 2020, I'll work on to love the person in the mirror more as it will definitely helps everything else to fall into line. And what most important is that I will respect, appreciate and value all the people who make me smile, laugh and feel loved. Plus, I will make a priority to go in nature more often and to enjoy the little things in life 💖 I don’t want to get too caught up in living to the fullest bcs taking a small step and enjoying the little things will make me happier. Try to capture more moments with polaroid camera because sometimes pictures just get lost and can be deleted unconsciously. With the advantage of the camera and by also printing the pictures out from the phone could actually give some fun as I’m gonna have a physical photos to look back throughout the year. I'll also plan my dream trip even if it's unlikely to happen maybe because of financial situation or the time of it but if I already get the details sorted it may likely to come into reality. And there's many more on the list but I'm just going to stop for now as I'm so sleepy it's midnight already and I have something big going to happen tomorrow. 

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.” —John Pierpont “J.P.” Morgan

Cheers to the letting go of the past and to the beginning of a year full of wonderful and promising possibilities. 

Love,

R.