2021

 It's amusing how time flies so fast. It feels like yesterday was my graduation day where the truth is a year has already passed by. Maybe a thought crossed your mind "She must be doing well now". Let me be honest, I'm not there yet. Like seasons, I'm constantly changing. I'm still trying to figure out my life. At one point, I'm happy with what I'm doing now. But life has its own ways to break my spirit. I feel so useless. I pray I'll be better soon. 

Till then, I hope I'm strong and brave enough to get through this motions of living without regrets.

Love,
R. 

*I'm doing okay now but it sucks to see you're far behind from some people. I'm writing this to remind myself in the future that I've been at my low during these time and I've survived.

HAPPY NEW ME!

(It's a late post but it's still a progress ..)

Hello and good day peeps.

I'm so excited like I'm so ready for new year, the beginning of my blank pages for 2020. There's a long listed things I'm so looking forward to achieve and in between I really hope and pray that I will always stay strong and don't give in easily. Since I was a kid, it kinda turns into a habit whenever the new year's coming in, I will grab my colorful pens and started to write down my goals for that particular year whether it's a general or specific one. However, I don't be hard on myself because we planned but sometimes God has something else for us in store. I will always try my best but if I can't cross off one from list, it's acceptable but only after sobbing my heart out. You make list in order for it to be achieved. So when it doesn't work out on that year, we can always bring it forward to the next year. You should never put it to stop unless you believe it's really is not yours and you've sacrifice a lot to get to where you are now. So, in short I'm currently in that situation where I have a list of goals that almost similar to last year. *freak out* 

The thing is 2019 was a really challenging year, it drained me mentally and physically. I was gaining more weight, I was degrading myself a lot and it really annoying that I prefer to sleep like there's no tomorrow instead of waking up and living my days to the fullest. I made mistakes. A really horrible one. And because of that event, it marked the turning point of my (our) lives. We both changed, into someone we're not comfortable in. Along the way, we tried to adjust and learn to communicate better. We fought a lot, even to the point of giving up with each other. But as bad as it was, we always find our back together. My final year project before graduating was also giving me the pain in the ass. I didn't cry much but it's really a tough journey. The lab works were easy whereas the people  inside the lab were not. It's not really a lose for me but I did lose a good friend of mine because of lab LOL. I was not responsible for his indecent behavior tho ==' when you're into something, you should do it attentively especially when it involves group work. 

The greater the storm, the brighter the rainbow will show after it. It's totally a lie if I say that my life was always down in the dumps. I did feel at ease and my heart was content at times as I met new people, invest in new hobby, working on a new job, going places I'm not familiar with and revisit the places of memory. I'm so pleased as punch as I'm making a trip down the memory lane. I had a pretty good memories too actually that will always be cherished forever. You’ve done great Raihana! 

I'm going to promise to myself that for 2020, I'll work on to love the person in the mirror more as it will definitely helps everything else to fall into line. And what most important is that I will respect, appreciate and value all the people who make me smile, laugh and feel loved. Plus, I will make a priority to go in nature more often and to enjoy the little things in life 💖 I don’t want to get too caught up in living to the fullest bcs taking a small step and enjoying the little things will make me happier. Try to capture more moments with polaroid camera because sometimes pictures just get lost and can be deleted unconsciously. With the advantage of the camera and by also printing the pictures out from the phone could actually give some fun as I’m gonna have a physical photos to look back throughout the year. I'll also plan my dream trip even if it's unlikely to happen maybe because of financial situation or the time of it but if I already get the details sorted it may likely to come into reality. And there's many more on the list but I'm just going to stop for now as I'm so sleepy it's midnight already and I have something big going to happen tomorrow. 

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.” —John Pierpont “J.P.” Morgan

Cheers to the letting go of the past and to the beginning of a year full of wonderful and promising possibilities. 

Love,

R.

MY HOGWARTS HOUSE CHANGED ?!

(sometimes we sort too soon)

Good day everyone!

Honestly, this post has been in my draft since forever. I've always wanted to finish writing it but things got in my way hence, the procrastination. As stated, the title might not really captivating but i do hope it will inspire you in certain ways. Well,basically my Hogwarts house does not literally change because I used to decide which house I'm in solely by observing and admiring which one looks fun in the books and in the movies. As a result, the wrong choice (Doesn't suits my real character).

I always wondered how extraordinary, how amusing Gryffindor is all about especially people who representing the house as they exhibit the virtues of  courage, bravery and determination. Since most known me as a shy, intimidating and indecisive person, I would love to imagine myself as one of them and for once to feel full about myself.

So, to cut long story short, I took several tests which according to the final result, I will be assigned in the correct Hogwarts house, the place where I believe I should belong 😅

I got Ravenclaw house! hOw sURpRisINg is that ~ In fact, Ravenclaw is my second favorite house and speak of the truth, I actually might have what it takes to be in this house like how nerd and geek am I 😂 So, from now on, I am proudly announcing that I'm the most studious, quirkiest and wisest as far as I can be while upholding whatever it has to be a Ravenclaw hehe :3

On a side note, I'm still a Gryffindor fan ><

Lots of love.

FEBRUARY READING WRAP UP

Hye qtpies

It’s almost in the mid of March but hey I’m still going to do my February reading wrap up. It’s unbelievable how quickly this month has flown by and surprisingly I did better than in January! For this month, I’ve read a mixture of physical books and ebooks. Before this, I’m not a fan of ebooks because well for the ultimate reason, I really love the feeling of holding a book in my hands and the satisfaction of smelling the scent of each of the papers. It feels very rewarding the moment I flipped through the pages.  I guess that’s also the reason why the majority of us like to read books way back before ebooks did exist. I don’t have a particular reason why I finally decided to read ebook but I guess I want to experience and understand the hypes going on with the ebook. I have to agree that it’s very convenient and practical as I don’t have to tag along my book everywhere I go. One thing I love the most is because it is cheaper than physical books. I save more by buying ebooks. But if I have to choose, I am definitely on the physical books side. Back to reading, I managed to read a total of six books and I’m really proud of it. Here we go!

The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur  ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I really liked her poem, it’s empowering and beautiful. She’s able to constructs words precisely what most people have been through and makes it sounds so real. Even though I can’t relate to all of it, there’s a lot that really touched my heart and evoke emotion.

Love & Misadventure by Lang Leav ⭐⭐⭐

I enjoyed it but it’s not like I’m obsessed with it. Personally, I found that the ending was better than the beginning. It’s easy to read and flows superbly. This book proved me wrong in the most doubting way because at the end I felt that this book was just okay and not what I’ve expected.

Always, and Forever Lara Jean by Jenny Han  ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book is so amazing. It kept me engaged and the story is good enough that it intrigued me to continue on finishing the book. Something about this book filled a void in my soul as reading this really made me happy. The characters’ development is impressive especially Lara Jean and Peter since the first book. They are both getting better and have grown up so much. Lara Jean and her family do have a special place in my heart. Peter in this book is really good and definitely the best boyfriend ever. He is perfect in the realest sense. This book is the best among the three in the series mostly because everything is finally come together but I do in an urge to read more about our sweet guy, John Ambrose McClaren. The ending is flawless and cute when Peter tells her the first time ever he saw her. 

Twisted Summer by Willo Davis Roberts  ⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book was slow to begin but by the end it was a pretty good book. Not many people enjoy it but I certainly find the story is interesting. It was a quick read and a really predictable one too actually. 

Lullabies by Lang Leav  ⭐⭐⭐⭐

This one is better than the first book as it has more quality poems. I was absolutely dissolved in the words she’s written. However, there’s still inexplicable moment where I found that some of the poems are expressionless but it’s still a good read.

The Hazel Wood by Mellisa Albert   ⭐⭐⭐

Fuh! This one is tough. I’m not sure what to feel about this book. Part of me did enjoy it but another part is just wondering whether to love it or hate it. The magic in the story is quite questionable. The world is confusing. Not many of the characters stand out and are just blend. I give it 3 stars just because I do think that the idea of the story is appealing even I didn’t get the best experience I possibly could out of it. 

It’s an end now. Hope you’re staying warm and have a great day. 

Lots of love.

JANUARY READING WRAP UP

Hey qtpie 

As you can read from the title, in today's post  I want to talk about the books that I read in the month of January. It's not that much but 3 books are not so bad. Even though it's a low number, all of it are so great and really my cup of tea. I'm currently in my semester break which is supposed to left for lots of great reading time, but it's not going really well as I've to complete my final year project throughout the break. Yeay, new year, new hope. I'm going to graduate at the end of this year ;)

Now, onto the books!

A Thousand Perfect Notes by C.G. Drews  ( 🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋 )

I  actually have posted the review for this book. I'm so glad I did pick up this book because I really connect well with it. The story is so gripping, so perfect and the twists and turns gave me so many feelings. I believe this book is not for everyone especially who's experienced mental and physical abuse. The story is tragic, it feels so real and is very well done.

P.S I Still Love You by Jenny Han  ( 🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋 )

I had a lot of high expectations and a lot of hype going into this book because so many people love this book so much. Overall, I really did enjoy the book. It was really a fast read and the plot really kept me going.  What I really love the most was Lara Jeans's family. They were so heartwarming, very welcoming and I can feel their love and compassion. I would do anything to have a very sweet and honest relationship between my siblings just like the Song girls sisterhood. I guess, I prefer the first book more than this one. Why Lara Jean, why?? You can't be in love with two boys at once ....

Chomp by Carl Hiaasen  ( 🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋  )

I was hesitant to try this and  really worried that I wouldn't enjoy it because this is the very first book I've ever read about animals. I was really indecisive at first whether or not to put this on my TBR list because I really didn't want to ruin my reading mood. Surprisingly, I did fall head over heels in love with this one. I liked the writing and I thought the characters are all very unique and very different from a lot of characters that I've read about before. The story line is very informative as I learned a lot about different kind of animals and plants. It was an easy read and highly entertaining.It was very enjoyable and I ended up giving this one a high rating. 

Lots of love.

BOOK REVIEW: A THOUSAND PERFECT NOTES

Author: C.G. Drews

Released: June 2018

Pages: 282

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

As a reader, once I picked up a new book to read, I always anticipate to benefit something in some way especially in helping me to grow as a person. It's very amazing how we can live a thousand lives just through pages of book. So, I'm really intrigue that this book kind of had an impact on me and it surely have a special place in my heart. Most of the events that happened in the book are not really happening in my real life but I find the story is  connectable somehow. But, I think this book could be improved since I'm not really a fan of the third person point of view.

This book follows Beck and her little sister, Joey as they try to survive and just live their brutal and conflict life without minding other people's business. Specifically for Beck, everyday is a winding road. Bound by the fact that he is the firstborn of Ida Magdalena Keverich, a well known German pianist, he is demanded to be like her mother. Forced to play every notes with perfection hour after hour and day after day, Beck suffers a lot of mental and physical abuse. His mind and heart revolt to let his own music out as he is meant to be a composer, but he didn't do anything. He has to follow orders so that Joey, his pillar strength will never be harmed by their monstrous mother. Every day he reluctantly plays the same song until destiny brings him and August together. His heart starts to beat differently, full of hope and love.

The story is depressing making my heart aches but I absolutely adore this book. It is well written and it feel so real. One thing that really bother me is that at some point of the story I feel sick how no one ever come to their house to offer help  because obviously if you're living in a neighborhood, you can easily sense something's wrong in any household. But maybe, it's the social stigma that it's better for people to get out of trouble by not meddling with other's concerns or problems. I admire Beck for his courage and determination. Even he hates her mother, her music, he still practices hard and ought not to make any mistakes. One wrong note can mess up an entire performance and he's so tired of his mother insults for not being perfect. I learn that all that Beck wants is that her mother to recognize and appreciate his efforts.  And most importantly to realize that he's not a disappointment to her, that he tried his best. I believe that when we do something, even if we failed, being acknowledged makes every hard work that we put so worthy. So. it's not wrong for us to be kind by congratulating or respect other's achievement or even an attempt to be something. Despite having a broken and empty soul, he's still a loving and protective brother to his sister. It's very heartbreaking to deal with the parts where their mother dare to unleash her anger by hitting her favorite daughter and Beck reliably come to the rescue and switch the place for Joey. Beck personality just got to me and didn't let me go once I started reading. Anyway, being a mother does not give you a ticket to hit your children. I feel sorry for both of them as I know all the pains, the beating will be seared into their memories forever. It will be hard for them to forgive or even love her after the tragic incident that happened at the end of the story. No matter how many times they tell themselves or try to believe that their mother loves them, there will always be a time where they will fantasize that their mother would die. I learn that you can't control things to happen our way. You can't oblige your kids into something they don't want to do and bear in mind that passion is not born from perfection. I really love how the writer portrayed August as the wacky and cheerful girl that sparks Becky to stand up against her mother and be true to himself. It's very nice to see how inspiring she is to Beck's life. It's nice to know that we are the reason to someone's happiness right ;')

I highly recommend this book!

'Sharing music is personal because music speaks, it feels, it breathes. 

And it always says something about you.' - C.G. Drews, A Thousand Perfect Notes

Lots of love.

SEPTEMBER READING WRAP UP

 New month, new beginning and I really hope that this October will be a great deal for me to read more books. September went by very fast and I didn`t read much at all and I was kinda expected this actually.  I registered back to my university on the 11th of September and since then I was so busy with classes. meetings and of course my final year project. This last two semester will be hectic and I really wish that I will never ever neglect any reading. But still I managed to finish 3 books which is still okay la hehe. Without further ado, let’s just get into it!

The Rocky Road Trip of Lydia Goldblatt & Julie Graham-Chang
(The Popularity Papers #4)
Amy Ignatow
⭐⭐⭐
I have a love and hate relationship with the story. It`s fun, the graphic is entertaining and the dialogue back and forth between Lydia and Julie, in journal form, is written well. But maybe the fact that Julie`s Dad divorced with her mother just bcs to be in a relationship with another man a bit bothering me.

WuMo: Something Is Wrong
Mikael Wulff, Anders Morgenthaler
⭐⭐⭐⭐
All of the illustrations are very precise and agreeable. It just that I have a slight problem in understanding some parts of the books. The humor is there but I just don't really get it. 

Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood and The Story of a Return
Marjane Satrapi
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This book is so perfect. I really enjoy her experiences, the historical events and some are relatable especially about the personal battles between traditional and modern values, but I think it's a bit misleading about Muslim and Islam. In the story, Islam is portrayed like a very bad religion but in fact it is totally oppose it. I think the reason is bcs they are holding on to Syiah which in Malaysia our belief is Sunnah Wal Jamaah.

Lots of Love!